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Post by VENOM DIMINUENDO, on Feb 15, 2011 13:54:11 GMT -5
“You really aren’t gay, babe. You say you only love me, but if and probably when we break up you’ll be cranky for a week and things will go right back to normal.”
Venom's heart dropped. 'If and probably when' they break up. He really wished that Lucky hadn't added that second part. A small part of him began to panic, and he bit his tongue hard to stop tears from filling his eyes. God, he hated it when this happened. He cried a lot. But he was good at holding it in after all of the years of practice. He tightened his grip on Lucky as though by doing that he's stay for longer, and their relationship would never end. It wouldn't work. This was another of those moments that reminded Venom that Lucky didn't love him. He might think that he did, but Ven knew that he was wrong. Lucky didn't have the ability to love, which just meant that he was using Venom. He only wanted Venom for sex. Those are things that kept running around through his mind, even if they weren't true. He had been doubting the thoughts recently, but now that Lucky had said that, he knew that he was right.
"I-I.." he stuttered, desperately clinging to Lucky, hoping that Lucky didn't notice how tightly he was suddenly holding him, and how closely he's pressed their bodies together. "No. Lucky.. you don't understand." He sighed in frustration at the fact that Lucky probably never would understand the extent of how much Venom loved him. "I love you. More than life. I'd do anything and be anyone for you. If we broke up, things would not go back to normal. I would not go and get some girl. I'd.." He bit his lip, wondering what he would do. Commit suicide? He thought that this option was very likely. His life had been fucked up many-a-time. One more time, and to this extent, and he wouldn't want it to carry on any longer. Losing Lucky would just be too hard. "I don't know what I'd do, but you'd lose a lead guitarist.. Probably." There was always the possibility that he wouldn't be able to leave Lucky, and would just hang in the shadows and hope that someday Lucky would come back to him. He didn't think that he'd ever told Lucky that he loved him like this before, and wondered how he'd react. He'd probably get out of the bed and tell Venom that he was stupid and weird and break up with him right there and then. Venom was such an idiot; clearly Lucky didn't love him, so why was he bothering? Because he couldn't stay away. "So, I'm sorry if I'm not good enough for you. I know I'm not. But.. I want this to last forever." He looked down, his brows furrowing.
“If vagina gets you hard them you aren’t gay.”
"It doesn't," he said in mono-tone. Lucky was the only thing that got him hard. Not that he ever looked at anybody else without clothes. He barely even glanced at people with clothes. There was a time when he'd check out every girl and guy that walked by, but he didn't anymore. He just pictured Lucky when he wasn't around.
Yeah, right, like you could stay away from you. You’ve been having creepy little jack off sessions about me since we met, I know you can’t stop now that you have the real thing.”
"Yeah, well there's nothing else out there worth wanking over. So, you're right, I wouldn't be able to stay away. I need you." He stretched his neck back as Lucky kissed it, wishing he'd kiss him harder. And maybe dig his nails in harder too. He loved the pain of that. Venom wrapped his arms around Lucky's waist and ran his palms along Lucky's back. He was so perfect. Venom wished that they could be together forever, even if Lucky didn't feel the same.. He didn't mind if they didn't love each other equally, as long as they could be together..
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