, yesterdays child [haylee rae]

[CECILIA LACEY SIMON,]

it's so OVERRATED

to be loved and hated

Cecilia didn’t spend a lot of time backstage. It was normally a place filled with nerves for her since before every show she was a wreck of nerves and pacing. However it was so late, or early that Cecilia knew her band members would be stumbling onto the bus pretty soon all drunk and barfy. Or they’d dragging in some trashy boy to hook up with under a blanket while Cece had to match their giggles, and moans with the volume of adult swim. Since she couldn’t sleep and knew very well that if she didn’t leave now she’d be overly annoyed and snappy. Cecilia had stayed in to practice and talk to her mom. Cece tried to put aside one night a week to spend some bonding phone time with her mother and try to detox all the weed and booze. Plus she needed her alone time.

Cecilia had decided to go for a walk around the buses to avoid her bus mates and after discover a group of what looked like fourteen year old girls smoking weed with a bunch of pretty old roadies she knew that walking near the buses was a bad idea. The sun was just starting to come up and Cecilia was a little annoyed she wasn’t tired. I mean she had gotten all ready for bed at 2am. She had her hair pulled up in one of those messy white girl buns, and he make up was all washed off. She was watching her dinosaur pajama pants and a white tanktop, she was also barefoot. Cecilia did a lot of things barefoot; she even did shows a lot barefoot. She hated shoes she thought they were restricting. It wasn’t a long walk to the stages, just kind of dull.

There wasn’t much beautiful scenic views walking through buses and trash bags. Cecilia missed home times like these. Like her bedroom with the pretty little garden outside her window and her mom always made her breakfast and stuff. Cecilia had that achy belly hurting feeling when she thought about stuff like that. She really just wanted to go home times like these. Cecilia finally made her way to the stage and hopped up on it. It was pretty big and the drums and stuff were still set up. Cecilia sat down on the seat behind them and spun back and forth on the seat. This was where she was most comfortable, and felt safe, when she was totally surrounded by a drum kit. Cecilia drummed on the snare with her fingertips and sighed. She was bored, and this might not have been the best idea to pass time.

words - 444
tags - haylee
notes - it's kinda short, but yeah

[HAYLEE-RAE MICHAELS,]

Huff. Haylee-Rae had been thinking. About life. Childhood. Happiness. The simple joys of what she knew she knew. And what she knew she knew at that moment was music. Nothing but pure, joyous music. Sure she loved what the band had always played but there was a difference between playing them and playing her. Everyone had already begun heading back to the buses for whatever reason enthralled them to do so. Be it booze, bud, sex, or just the delightful company of sleep. Regularly that was her cue to breakout and mix together whatever could leave her memory shot the next morning. But that night Haylee-Rae lagged. She needed a more constructive release and she needed it now. Lately, due to her lower-than-usual tolerance level, she had been spending more quality time with her iPod. People knew Haylee-Rae as the hardcore-loving, metal junkie, screamo fan girl. However she was listening to this song by Band of Horses over and over that was just begging for transposition.

Still in her show garb from the band's performance but had throw on some bright blue sweat pant's over her border-line-panties shorts she had been outfitted in. At the end of the night Haylee-Rae waited on the stage at the end of their last set until she was pretty sure she was alone. She walked up to the very edge of the stage and looked out at where, not too long ago there was a full crowd. Screaming. Cheers. Haylee realized how weird it was. How much changed after everything was toned down. It seemed like the world belonged to her. Stillness. She returned her mind to it's original purpose of the night. She removed herself from the drama. The bickering. The world. Just for a moment.

She took a few steps back and behind the front curtain the stage crew had tucked away a small upright. One little know fact about Haylee-Rae was that way back in her days before large-scale fame, and even larger scale infamy, was that she was a fantastic pianist. Which is what kind of built up her voice and her ability for rang control as a child. She gently ran her fingertips over the ivory keys, worn tan from use and age. She placed her thumbs on middle C and played the note. This...this was home. When she first began piano this is where everything started. It was home base. In London, just beneath her mothers screams a light middle C could be heard. And even in Canada with her father clanking scotch glasses against tequila shots middle C was still middle C. And even upon her eventual arrival in Oregon middle C still began everything. Always in the same place.

She sat down at the piano and played a small lullaby-like tune. The next time she looked up she realized a whole hour had passed. She knew she had transposed that song and played it, beginning to end at least ten times, with some nonsense in-between. Satisfied she laid her head on the edge of the piano and let out a deep breathe. Disturbance. She heard the slight echo of a snare from behind the curtain behind her and listened for a moment. And then knew just who she was about to encounter.

Notes:I cheated ;D
Tags:Cc!
Word Count: 600
Outfit:click!
Muse: XP

[CECILIA LACEY SIMON,]

it's so OVERRATED

to be loved and hated

Cecilia drummed her fingers in the drums for what felt like forever. Her mind seemed to go blank when she was playing, it was such a release. Cecilia was normally so quiet and clam, drums were her opposite. They were so loud and angry. It was her release. The yin to her yang. Her push to her pull. Her fung to her shui, or some shit. It was when she was allowed to get angry and pound, and hit, and be furious. She regretted forgetting her sticks but let her mind zen out for the few minutes of seldom she had. It was so hard to be alone on the bus, or on tour. Cecilia was so absorbed into her finger drumming she didn’t even notice the piano behind the curtain. Because being on tour with band mates who make noise constantly and are always loud, you become an expert at drowning stuff out.

Cecilia stopped for a second to yawn and that’s when she heard the piano. It was soft and lullaby-ish. She knew before even looking who it was. That’s how Haylee played. Yes, Cecilia used to be best friends, and played together all the time. They used to talk about leaving their bands and starting a two woman hxc band and fucking take over. That felt like so long ago. Cecilia felt her heart start pounding and her hands getting sweaty. Haylee-Rae often made her very nervous and scared. Cecilia hadn’t having to see her, being around her, hearing her, it drove Cecilia crazy. Thinking about all the shit she said and did and how she treated her. When Cece was sober she was silent around her, or avoided her.

Cecilia stood up from the drums and then realized that that woman was standing in perfect view of every exit. If Cecilia left she would see. Then Cecilia couldn’t help but wonder why she was here and not back at the bus passed out with some naked roadie, or manager. Maybe she was upset or lonely. Cecilia used to be so close to her, of course she still wanted to give her hug when she looked sad and hang out with her to make her feel better. But then she thought about last tour and most of it went away. But now she couldn’t help her instincts were telling her to go talk to her.

Cecilia was almost screaming at her feet and they took her closer and closer to the curtain. Poking her head around to see Haylee staring at the curtain, so clearly she had heard her. “Umm hey Lee” She said using her old nick name “I mean Haylee” She paused awkwardly “Haylee-Rae” This is one of those situations where she is overly awkward. Cecilia smiled at her, trying to be nice. “You sound good” She gestured at the piano. Haylee, whether she hated her or not, played better than anyone she knew. “So why are you here? I mean are you okay?” Cecilia was trying really hard to show real concern but it was probably coming off really fake.

words - 518
tags - haylee
notes - nope

[HAYLEE-RAE MICHAELS,]

Upon her realization Haylee-Rae became immediately irritated. Yes, sure Cecilia had been her best friend previously. But Haylee's tolerance for the past was a short fuse. Flashback. The more Haylee-Rae thought about the past the pissier she got. The closeness, the jokes, the plans, the nicknames. They all had little meaning now. And the fact that a whole friendship was just deteriorated in her mind made her angry beyond words. Angry at herself though? Not so much. Haylee did she that she was partially to blame but never could admit that to herself. She'd rather just blame Cecilia and try her hardest to stay angry at her.

Once she zoned back in she made another realization. Footsteps. Shit. She rolled her eyes and sat behind her curtain while snapping herself into the bitch mode that kept a good distance between the two. She tapped on middle C and reminded herself You are here. You are home. Her anger was already overcoming her. She considered maybe making a break for it and just pretending Cecilia and her hadn't been in the same room for more than 2 seconds without a hurtful word. But that was so unlike her. She had made her decision. Tear her apart. And telling herself this so definitively made her feel...good. Just in time her head snapped up to give an intensive stare just as the little head poked around the corner.

Haylee-Rae heard the first words come out of Cecilia's mouth. Fingers on middle C. You are home. And she's not welcome. Then she heard the second address directed toward her. That's better. And then the third. That's more like it. Then she realized Cecilia was actually making a conversational attempt, and that she was just staring at her the whole time. She let out a frustrated grunt and rolled her eyes. "I swear I just can't get away from you can I? And of course I sound good." That statement was pure Haylee-ego. "And since when do you give a shit?" Haylee-Rae turned back to the piano fully and looked at middle C. Then she turned back to Cecilia. "But if you must know, I haven't been better. That is until you showed up. So you can stop pretending to be concerned now. Cos I know fake shit when I see it CC."

Notes:I cheated ;D
Tags:Cc!
Word Count: 386
Outfit:click!
Muse: XP

[CECILIA LACEY SIMON,]

it's so OVERRATED

to be loved and hated

Cecilia stood there pretty much like an idiot letting Haylee verbally attack her. That fact of the matter is, is that Cecilia always felt like things between then would just mellow out. They might not be friends, or do what they used to, but they would smile, and make jokes on stage and be able to put on an act. They couldn’t do that now, they couldn’t even look at eachother. Cecilia looked down at her feet. ‘Don’t cry, Don’t cry, if you cry she wins’ Cecilia did this a lot when they talked. It was so hard to see her, and remember it all and know that it was all gone. Just poofed. And she was powerless. Watching Haylee trying to be all bad ass didn’t really make her feel remorseful it made her pretty pissed.

Cecilia rolled her eyes, like very obviously rolled her eyes. “Yeah dumbshit, we live together it’s gonna be hard to avoid me” Cecilia hadn’t even talked to her all day, which was a lot because she normally threw in a back handed comment or something. She thought she had been on her good behavior. Cecilia pulled the curtain back around her a little feeling a little nervous. She was always scared the Haylee would back hand her, or poke her eye out. Cecilia could talk shit, but she knew that if it got physical, she better run fast as hell. “It was a compliment, learn how to take one” Cecilia said “I could have been a bitch and said that you were really off at tonight’s show, because you sounded like shit, but no, I was nice” Cecilia honestly thought she sounded fine, but she wanted to piss her off.

Cecilia could feel her blood boiling when she saw her pressing that C key over and over. She knew that’s what she did to calm down, and it was driving Cece crazy. She wanted Haylee to not calm down she wanted her to get angry. She wanted to know that at least Haylee had emotion about this. “I’m not pretending! I was trying to be nice. I’m always trying to be nice, and you shoot me down, which I don’t get. I’ve always been nice to you, I never did a single thing to hurt you” Cecilia said her voice raising. She knew that the plesent conversation she was hoping to get wasn’t going to happen. And to her, that was fine.

words - 409
tags - haylee
notes - nope

[HAYLEE-RAE MICHAELS,]

Haylee-Rae never did find a better satisfaction than when she had Cecilia near her breaking point. And she could tell. She kept looking down in that way to say :'You're hurting my feelings.' Deep inside she knew she shouldn't be so mean to the kid. She actually never could quite understand why she loved being so spiteful. But she just loved it so much. It satisfied her to know that the person who gave her so much shit in the past was being ripped to shreds by none other than herself. It was easy to just say sorry and move on. But Haylee-Rae preferred to forget. And it was easier to do that by just erasing their past together. Cancel all the good out with bad.

Haylee sat there and allowed herself to get angrier and angrier with everyone of Cecilia's retorts. But she kept a calm exterior as part of her strategy. She knew the calmer she stayed the more frustrated Cecilia would get. And the more frustrated Cecilia got, the meaner she would get. And once she hit the last of her nerves Haylee-Rae would have an excuse to go off like a ticking time bomb. She was fully prepared make Cece regret ever even approaching her. She just sat there on the piano bench looking up at Cecilia with her finger on the same key. Tap..tap..tap

Finally after she looked like she was through with her pathetic insults Haylee turned back to the piano making an effort to break all eye contact and laughed. "For one. Who are you calling dumb shit, kid? Two. Don't even act like I don't know my own material. Anyway, it's good to know you're so obsessive you had to be at the show. And you know damn well that you made some big ass deal about what happened last tour! So..." Haylee turned back to face Cece and batted her eyelashes with passive-aggressive cynicism "if we're done with our little pout sesh I have some work to finish here." Haylee-Rae felt like she had done some sufficient mind-tampering.

Notes:I cheated ;D
Tags:Cc!
Word Count: 347
Outfit:click!
Muse: XP

[CECILIA LACEY SIMON,]

it's so OVERRATED

to be loved and hated

Cecilia couldn’t stand this. She tried so hard not to care what Haylee was saying, but it just mattered to her. Haylee used to be her best friend and the way she acted now was just awful to watch. Cecilia did cry about it, and she was hurt. She just wanted trying to be all hard ass about it like Haylee. She would admit that this sucks for her and that she was hurt. But Haylee had to act like she could care less, which is total bull. But Cecilia couldn’t really force her to admit her mistakes so for now, they were just going to be bitches with each other. Cecilia didn’t really hate being mean to Haylee though. Honestly, she was the one who hurt her first, so revenge isn’t bad. Right?

So Cecilia did get really pissed off when Haylee had to act all badass to her. Haylee always acted like Cecilia was a child. It pissed her off more than anything. Cecilia slammed her foot into the ground, sort of loosing her temper. “Haylee stop being a fucking bitch. Last tour was your fault; all I want is an apology for ruining my relationship, and our friendship.” If you break it down, Cecilia didn’t do anything wrong. Chase was her boyfriend, and of course she didn’t want her boyfriend hanging out with someone like Haylee. Haylee is hot, really hot. And she would have made a move. “And my drumming is never off, so fuck you” Cecilia walked a little closer to Haylee and started tapping on a key.

She continued this while staring up at Haylee like nothing had changed. “Haylee don’t call me kid either. We are the same age, and I can’t stand that” Yes, Cecilia acts, talks, and as the maturity of a kid. But she deserves to be treated like an adult. Cecilia looked up at Haylee almost in a pleading way. All Cece wanted to do right now is sit down with her, put her arm around her and talk. She didn’t want to fight, it was exhausting. But for some reason when Haylee opened her mouth all her desires for peace and loves and unicorns and shit went away.

words - 390
tags - haylee
notes - I did too =]

[HAYLEE-RAE MICHAELS,]

Haylee-Rae could feel it. Cecilia was about to crack. And boy was Haylee satisfied. She could see the tough exterior melting. The tears welling. And she couldn't be happier. Sure she could be nice. But she had no problems with being a bitch either. It was all just a matter of time before they had to hit some sort of climax anyway. So why not play the game the way she wanted. It helped her forget. And right now that's all she wanted. For Cece to walk away and for her to forget. It always just made things easier. The longer she kept the bitch act up the more it would drive away the good past and the pestering present.

Cecilia was beginning to look more and more like a child about to erupt into a tantrum. Which, to Haylee, was half irritating and half amusing. CC practically always acted like a chils. And that bugged Haylee-Rae beyond belief. Because she sure knew how to play her roll, milk it and get what she wanted. But not with Haylee. The second Cecilia stamped her foot on the floor Haylee couldn't help but lose her composure and burst into a fit of laughter. If Cc couldn't properly get to her, the attempts were just pathetic and hilarious.

Snapping back into bitch mode Haylee was immediately on her feet and about 2 inches from Cecilia's face. "Look here kid," She put extra emphasis on the word just to get to Cecilia, "you're not getting an apology for shit. What happened happened. Get the fuck over it. And if you can't, well suck it up and move on. It's obvious I have." With that being said Haylee crossed the stage to the drum set and flung her hand upward sending one of the cymbals flying up into the air and crashing down on the stage. "And for the record...I'm three years older!" Haylee shouted over her shoulder. She turned to face Cecilia and placed her hands on her hips. "Anything else Ms.Simon?"

Notes:I cheated ;D
Tags:Cc!
Word Count: 400
Outfit:click!
Muse: XP